Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Mentally......I suck.

Before I started running, I looked at a runner and thought, "Damn she must be in shape."  I was only thinking about the physical part of running.  I never once considered the mental part of running.  That is until I started to run myself.  The first couple of months into my running fascination, I started to notice that the physical part of running was becoming easier.  I was breathing better than I ever had, quitting cancer sticks will do that for you.  My legs were getting stronger and my body was starting to crave the activity. I just had no idea what else was going to come to light.

During this period of time, my friend Amy and I started to talk about setting a running goal.  This all transpired on Amy's couch, during the highly unusual snow days in Georgia.  What happens when you get two grown women, stuck in the house, with two nine year olds?  Pretty much you get two people who come up with a goal that (I can't speak for Amy) changes your life.  I know that sounds all dramatic and shit, but it is not that dramatic.  Sitting on the couch on a snowy January reading a running magazine we came up the wonderful idea to run a half marathon.  An even better idea would be to run one at Disney World.  After a little research we decided on the Wine and Dine Half Marathon in November. Holy shit!  We even signed up and paid money. is set in stone and money!  Actually, we are in full training mode and I am training my ass off.  The official count down is 57 days 11 hours and 47 minutes.

Right now I am in week 3 of an 11 week training program and I have been struggling so badly.  I have been running since November last year.  What the hell is my problem?  My problem is:  I can physically run 13.1, but mentally I can barely run 3.

Mentally.......I suck at running!

How does a runner fix this?  I am not entirely sure, but I will figure it out.  I will run this half marathon like pro.  It is just going to take a lot more than I thought...  Don't get me wrong I never thought this was going to be easy, but I never took into account the mental and emotional struggle I was going to face.  I am going to have to do some things that I have never really done before.

I realized the other day I have a lot of negative thoughts running through my head.  I never thought they could be so detrimental to my running life and everything else.  They gotta go!  Yesterday I ran 3.11 Miles and I fought those negative thoughts. It took me about a mile to replace all my negativity and then I rocked that last 2 miles!  I just had to believe that I could do it. That is what I have to do.  I have to fight my demons and believe that I can.  Who knew this is what running was all about?

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Too Much Energy??

        Once upon a time there was a 41 year old woman sitting on the back steps of her house smoking a cigarette.  This woman smokes a pack and half a day.  This woman has trouble sleeping every night.  She has trouble breathing and is miserable.  One day this woman took a chance and quit smoking, with the help of friends and pharmaceuticals.   She went through withdraws, the mood changes, and the feeling of being lost (if you have ever quit smoking you will understand this feeling) and before she knew it had been a month.  She expected the typical issues that came with quitting, but there was one that she did not expect:  AN OVERWHELMING SURGE OF ENERGY!!  What on earth could she do with all of this new energy?  Run!!!!!!

        I am sure everyone has figured out that I am that woman.  I am 42 years old now.  I have been smoke free for 304 days and counting.  When I quit smoking I was amazed by many things.  Who knew that food tasted so good?  I had smoked since I was a teenager, so I didn't know that oranges tasted amazing.  Yes, I did gain weight and I am still trying very hard to lose it all, but we can talk about that another time.  I quit smoking in October and in November I had so much energy it was insane.  I knew that if I did not find a way to use this energy I was either going to go crazy or start smoking again.  
        Then one day I came across an App called Zombies, Run.  I am a zombie lover.  I love zombie movies, books, and video games.  Needless to say I was intrigued.  I researched it a little and eventually came to the conclusion that maybe this would be fun and a way to use some energy.  If you are not familiar with Zombies, Run then you are missing out! Basically, you listen to a story that requires you to run.  Yes, that is as simple as I can make it.  A story will play for a few minutes and then you listen to music.  The story is broken down into episodes, so you listen to a 30 minute to hour episode and you run while you listen.  Simple?  Yes!!!  I downloaded the App and went around my neighborhood listening and trying to run.  I fell in love with the story and I fell in love with running.  The most exciting part was that I was doing something that I had never done before.  I started to look forward to running everyday.    
         Let me say this very clearly...I did not start running 10 miles a day.  I struggled and still struggle with running.  I struggle with the physical part of running and especially the mental part of running.  I read a lot of running related articles and blogs, so many of them make it sound like these people just run out their front door at an 8 minute mile pace.  They also make it sound like they run 7 miles a day.  This blog is about my struggle with running.  How I fight with my brain every time I run!  It is also how I opened a new world by running.  I have achieved things that I never thought possible and have changed so many things since I started running,  I wanted to share these things.