Before I started running, I looked at a runner and thought, "Damn she must be in shape." I was only thinking about the physical part of running. I never once considered the mental part of running. That is until I started to run myself. The first couple of months into my running fascination, I started to notice that the physical part of running was becoming easier. I was breathing better than I ever had, quitting cancer sticks will do that for you. My legs were getting stronger and my body was starting to crave the activity. I just had no idea what else was going to come to light.
During this period of time, my friend Amy and I started to talk about setting a running goal. This all transpired on Amy's couch, during the highly unusual snow days in Georgia. What happens when you get two grown women, stuck in the house, with two nine year olds? Pretty much you get two people who come up with a goal that (I can't speak for Amy) changes your life. I know that sounds all dramatic and shit, but it is not that dramatic. Sitting on the couch on a snowy January reading a running magazine we came up the wonderful idea to run a half marathon. An even better idea would be to run one at Disney World. After a little research we decided on the Wine and Dine Half Marathon in November. Holy shit! We even signed up and paid money. Now...it is set in stone and money! Actually, we are in full training mode and I am training my ass off. The official count down is 57 days 11 hours and 47 minutes.
Right now I am in week 3 of an 11 week training program and I have been struggling so badly. I have been running since November last year. What the hell is my problem? My problem is: I can physically run 13.1, but mentally I can barely run 3.
Mentally.......I suck at running!
How does a runner fix this? I am not entirely sure, but I will figure it out. I will run this half marathon like pro. It is just going to take a lot more than I thought... Don't get me wrong I never thought this was going to be easy, but I never took into account the mental and emotional struggle I was going to face. I am going to have to do some things that I have never really done before.
I realized the other day I have a lot of negative thoughts running through my head. I never thought they could be so detrimental to my running life and everything else. They gotta go! Yesterday I ran 3.11 Miles and I fought those negative thoughts. It took me about a mile to replace all my negativity and then I rocked that last 2 miles! I just had to believe that I could do it. That is what I have to do. I have to fight my demons and believe that I can. Who knew this is what running was all about?